I had a really insightful conversation with one of my aunties yesterday evening which gave me the idea for this post. It will probably be a long one! Pop the kettle on, put your feet up and get ready to read.
I have spent my whole January trying to remain positive, through the financial struggles of moving to a new town after Christmas and beginning a new job. I stress a LOT and I’m constantly worrying. I never really appreciate the here and now because my main concern is my future. A lot of my blogs are reflective of that, one reoccurring theme…. OUR futures!
Am I ‘doing’ life wrong?
Thinking about the future in reality leaves us constantly worrying about things that may or may not EVER happen to us. I am 25 and find myself wondering if I’m in a ‘good’ place in my life. Am I doing the right things, making the right choices etc. I go onto my Facebook and see people bringing new life into this world, getting engaged/ married, moving up the career ladder, going on holidays, the lists are endless. It suddenly feels like you’re the only one not doing ANY of these this things. But perception is EVERYTHING!
Those who aren’t experiencing the events are probably thinking exactly the same as you. People share what’s happening, not what isn’t happening. For every 5 people you see going away or doing something you’re not, there are probably another 100 on your friends list that are thinking the exact same as you. Again, perception is everything.
My conversation with my auntie showed me that just just because you’re not doing the same as everyone else or living the life you expected (yet) it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Everyone’s life moves at a different pace based on their choices and the paths they take.
Who you gonna call?
When you were in secondary school and you had problems, you spoke to your friends. These friends had pretty much the same amount of knowledge you did and yet you felt they were the best confidants. I’ve always noticed I get along better with women older than me. (The amount of female ‘friends’ I have that are my age probably isn’t any higher than 3 and I can’t lie, I’m struggling to come up with names, besides family, Kiaya or Natalee) So when I got a call from my auntie I took the opportunity to share my burdens.
It was refreshing to speak with someone from home, I forget how lonely it can be when you’re used to being around people! It made me realize that when it comes to my professional life I’m extremely extrovert and have no problem networking with a variety of individuals once I’m in the ‘zone’. When it comes to my personal life I’m a lot more reserved, I’m friendly but cautious at the same time. This doesn’t mean I have to be alone, because everyone needs somebody they can call on, I think it’s time I started making friends.
Tidy home, Tidy mind
Im also going to brighten up my room, these student accomodation rooms are actually bland. This is definitely having an impact on my mental state, I don’t feel at home and the lack of individuality is taunting my sanity. A bedroom makeover is pending! I love arts and craft and changing up styles (I do it to my hair all the time!) I think doing this will make me feel better in my space and the colors I add will hopefully keep me smiling while alone in my own company. Also one great thing is the Mr managed to set up my TV aerial which means no more TV watching on my Kindle.
(I will doing a post on a before and after of the room at some point too!)
Everything negative comes from fear
We spoke about so much and I was provided with such a huge amount of assistance. The knowledge came from a perspective of experience and it really got me thinking. My auntie said one thing that stuck with me and for good reason:
Every negative feeling an be traced back to fear if you look at it in the right way, honey, it’s all about perspective!
This made me think about how true this has been in relation to my life and the stresses and problems I have faced. Everything I worry about comes from a place of fear; fear of unhappiness, fear of unemployment, fear that I may not be good enough. Reading over my old posts I realize I have spent a lot of time worrying about things that ultimately have never happened to me. I may not have had the smoothest of transitions into the working world, but at least I’m working. I’m in a job I enjoy and the main thing that counts is I take up all the opportunities available to me and make sure that I focus on finding happiness. All I really want for my future is to be rich. Rich in love, rich in family and rich in happiness. If I stay on my current path I hope it leads me there.
Why is it when we are young we think we know it all. We are told by adults don’t rush to grow up ut when we grow up all we want to do is be little again. We spend so much time living in the future that we never devote ourselves to the now. Do something for yourself, spend the day living in the now, don’t think about tomorrow. See how that works for you. Make today, or tomorrow the day where you live in the now and engage in EVERY moment see how it affects your day.
If you have any blog prompts post them below I may use your suggestion to generate my next blog post.
Random chair along the Thames – Wanted to share with you
Thanks for your support so far it’s really appreciated, I will be posting about some of the Coaching Innovation Projects in the coming weeks. Keep your eyes peeled!